I feel that we are all surrounded by a million tiny choices every minute of the day. Should I do this? Should I go there? Should I stay? Should I leave? What should I say? Eat? Do? Our lives are dominated by choices and it gets even more confusing when we start questioning the choices we make. Am I doing this because I want to make this person happy? Did I go here just to feel I was doing the right thing? Am I doing too much just to please others and live up to their expectations of me? I think we often tune out our own internal voice and instead let ourselves be guided by others.
Many decisions are made out of guilt. I should do this because it will make him happy. I should go with her to cheer her up. On one hand, it is a nice gesture because it exemplifies how selfless we can be. But we need to learn that sometimes being selfish is not a bad thing, sometimes it is an entirely necessary thing. If you are constantly doing things to make others happy and are rarely giving yourself the same kindness and consideration than you are being the worst possible friend to the most important person in your life…YOU!
Now I talk a good game but I am the last person I ever think about. I am always, always, always more concerned with making others happy. Trust me, people love this about me, but I’m not so sure I love it about myself. Because what often happens is that I end up resenting other people for taking my own precious time and using it all up on something I wasn’t even interested in doing in the first place. Then I end up not wanting to do anything with them the next time they put in a request. It creates a negative energy in my mind towards that person and their “demands.” Sometimes saying “No” to other people is really you just saying “Yes” to yourself.
I guess the moral of the story is, do what makes you happy and everything else should fall into place. (I say “should” because I have yet to actually try this method of living, but I will be certain to keep you posted.)