Archives for 2011

Today I cried.

I cried for the silliest of reasons. I cried because I couldn’t get my dog to stop barking. I fed her. I let her out, let her in, gave her water, treats, everything. But I just could not get her to stop barking. People with dogs know that this happens sometimes. I know that this happens sometimes. But for some reason, today, this morning, I couldn’t handle it. I couldn’t handle the fact that I was doing everything right, I was trying my hardest and still nothing. No change. Same loud, piercing barks. It was early. The sun was just up and I was worried her barks would wake people. I was frustrated and rapidly coming unglued. I posted yesterday about dogs barking and how it is just a part of the messy fabric of life. I posted about finding your peace within, even if the world around you seems to be conspiring to tear you apart. But the barking was tearing me apart. It was illogical and unstoppable. It couldn’t be fixed with reason or effort. What was I doing wrong?

How often do we ask ourselves this? What am I doing wrong? Why do we so often blame ourselves for things that are completely beyond our control? I have about as much control over a dog barking as I do over the sun rising in the morning, and yet I stress and worry and contemplate my failures. Yes, this isn’t just about dogs barking. It’s about the larger things in life. Why do we always find fault within ourselves? Things aren’t going right at work or in your relationship and you instantly blame yourself.  It’s our gut reaction. We must be doing something wrong. This inevitably is followed by “How can I fix this?”

My dog was barking and I continually tried to change the scenario. I offered up every alternative to keep her from barking. And do you want to know when she stopped barking? When I walked away. When I left her alone. When I stopped trying to fix and change and make things better. When I just let it be. I let the situation unfold around me and it fixed itself.

It’s amazing the life lesson you can learn from a barking dog.

Throughout our childhood we hear the old adage that our differences are what makes us unique, special, interesting. We are proud of what makes us stand out, what makes us different from our classmates and our friends. We feel a sense of triumph for seeing things a different way, doing things differently, being uniquely our own self. Then we begin our dating life and we search for someone who is just like us, our “other half.” We want someone to, get ready for it, complete us. (Jerry Maguire!) When we find this person, the person, the one we want to spend forever with, our hearts soar in all the ways we are similar. It is no longer about loving the differences in people, we want this person we have chosen to be just like us. We want sameness, we want similarities, we want cohesive structure and equal views on everything, to the point where we begin to tear apart another person’s uniqueness because we don’t like how different it is from ourselves. We want our partner to see things exactly the way we see them. We want everything to the look the same, but through different eyes. You can see where this could be difficult, where we could be putting unwanted pressures on a relationship, creating conflict, dreaming up drama.

Check out me (and my family) in the February issue of Self Magazine. I will be posting much more on the article and the subject matter (which is near and dear to my heart) but will say this, it is about how your mother’s relationship with her body impacts your relationship.

Thoughts?

After spending a good portion of the snow day yesterday trying to help my niece build a snow man, I now have a solution should we get walloped with another blizzard…THE MINI SNOWMAN! I found these on Martha Stewart’s THE CRAFTS DEPARTMENT blog.

Following in the footsteps of one of my favorite bloggers, Meet Virginia, I’m posting my goals for January.  Here are a few things I would like to accomplish before the end of the month.

• Read Faraday Girls by Monica McInerney
• See Black Swan
• Clean out my closet
• Make cupcakes from scratch
• Go to Paper Store
• Buy flowers for bedroom
• Celebrate Megan’s Birthday
• Make a handmade card
• Run at least three times a week
• Have a night out with friends

{Courtesy of Eat, Drink, Chic}

{Courtesy of Just Be Splendid}

Now that I can cross Australia off my list, it’s time to start planning a trip to Paris. Plus, if I can do a 20 hour flight to Australia (Boston to LA, LA to Australia), then a 7 hour flight to Paris is a walk in the park!