What’s Your Parenting Style?

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A new study out of Australia found that overprotective moms may hinder their child’s growth and development. According to the study from the Telethon Kids Institute, children whose mothers are highly protective are more likely to be overweight or obese by the age of 10. The study followed more than 2,500 children from age of 4 to 11. The lead author of the study goes on to explain that the increase in childhood obesity rates coincides with the increase in parental worry and fear. They use the example that more parents are driving their kids to school.

The Protectiveness Parenting Scale was used to rank parents’ degrees of protectiveness in three main areas:

  • How difficult a parent finds it to be separated from their child
  • How much they try to protect their child from problems or difficulties
  • How difficult it is for them to relinquish control of their child’s environment as they get older.

The Science Network of Western Australia reports that moms who scored moderately high on the scale were 13 percent more likely to have overweight or obese kids and moms who scored high on the scale were 27 percent more likely.

This type of study can be both helpful and harmful. Yes, we need to release our tight grip on our children as they age, allow them to experience life and explore their worlds, but we still need to be cognisant of the dangers that can present themselves to our children. Because a study warns that being overprotective can lead to health issues doesn’t mean you should push your child out the door and send them on their merry way. There are many factors that go along with the lives parents lead. Where do you live? Is it safe to send your child out into the yard or allow them to walk to school? Are there safety precautions you can take that would allow you to give your child more freedom but still support their safety (never let them walk alone, organize groups of children in the neighborhood to walk together)? We live in an age of information overload and this can lead to unwanted (and oftentimes unwarranted) worry. Just scrolling through your Facebook feed can bombard you with some truly terrifying, heart-breaking stories of accidents or harm brought to children. It can make any parent (even one not prone to worry) become overly concerned with even the most innocent daily happenings.

Unfortunately, studies like this can also create a backlash on “helicopter parents” who are accused of hovering over their children, giving other parents, friends, or family members ammunition. People love to comment on the parenting style of others. They love to add their opinions to the mix, often without invitation. So how does a parent balance being protective with allowing their children to grow and flourish in a comfortable, safe environment? By following their gut. Parents are going to be faced with millions of decisions during the course of their child’s life and worry is par for the course. They will question their choices and doubt their decisions but the one thing they have to continue to have faith in is themselves. Read these studies, digest them, think about how they apply to your life and your decisions and then forget them and move on. Make your own decisions and be confident. As our parents always love to remind us, they didn’t have any of these warnings and studies and cautions when we were growing up and we all survived.

Stationary Entertainers

I’m on the hunt for a stationary entertainer for my 5 month old son. We received the Fisher-Price Go Wild Jumperoo as a baby shower gift and just attempted using it the other night. The springs on three sides makes the apparatus very fluid. It provides quite a bit of movement, which is great for older babies who can get bored easily, but is my son ready for so MUCH movement? The bigger question being, is his Mom ready? So now I’m looking into an Evenflo ExerSaucer which appears to provide a little more stability. I was at Target this afternoon and they had the Baby Einstein Rhythm of the Reef Activity Saucer, which seems to provide the same “saucer-like” technique in a stationary activity toy. I feel like I need an engineering degree to decipher these toys. If anyone has any suggestions, I would love to hear them. Below are the current options we are considering. Go Wild is already in the rotation, it’s just a question of when.

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Fisher-Price Go Wild Jumparoo
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Evenflo Exersaucer

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 Baby Einstein Rhythm of the Reef
IMG_3366Grayson in his Fisher-Price Go Wild Jumparoo. Is that a look of happiness and joy? I don’t really think so, but then again it was his first time “going wild.” He’s a skeptical child and likes to really investigate things before giving himself over to it whole heartedly. He’s like his Mom in that way.

I must say I am a huge fan of the Fisher-Price line. I will talk about more of our favorites in upcoming posts but overall, I’m really happy with the quality of their products.

Sophie the Giraffe

I will admit that I bought Sophie the Giraffe not knowing what it even was, I just liked the look of it and I liked that it was made in France. How glamorous for mon petite bebe! Then I started reading on some of my favorite blogs about the benefits and popularity of Sophie the Giraffe as a teething toy. Grayson is just turning 5 months (on Tuesday!) and he has developed a new game, How Many Fingers Can I Stick in My Mouth. He ends up biting his tiny fingers and drooling all over himself. Enter Sophie! Not only does he love chewing on her but he also loves holding her, flipping her around, and staring at her. She is the perfect size for him to grip and I love watching how interested he becomes inspecting every tiny detail. She’s lightweight so when he flings her around and hits himself in the face, it doesn’t hurt. She’s also very easy to wash when she lands on the floor (see above mention of flinging her around). All in all, I’m a fan and so is Grayson.

Fun little factoid, Sophie the Giraffe was created on May 25, 1961. That means Sophie will be turning 53 tomorrow!

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You can find Sophie the Giraffe at any of these outlets. Target, Nordstrom, Amazon, Toys R Us.

Untouched

nigella-lawson-vogue-uk-april-cover-pictureNigella on the cover of UK Vogue bare faced and beautiful.

hayden-panettiere-tattoo-brides-magazine-cover-pictureHayden Panettiere, tattoos and all.

In an age of Photoshop frenzy, we can’t pick up a magazine without seeing a star airbrushed to the point of being unrecognizable. Why do editors feel the need to create these false images? Why do they want to promote this idea of perfection that only perpetuates depression among the millions of women who DON’T look anything like the images they see in magazines? They do it for exactly the same reason we do. Take a look at your Facebook or Instagram pages. Are these pictures true examples of you on a day-to-day basis or are they the glorified version of perfection that you hope to achieve? I am just as guilty. I post dozens of pictures of my son looking like this, a sweet and content baby boy.

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When life with a 3-month-old looks more like this…

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Now, as his mother, I find that BOTH pictures are equally adorable. How could I not!? Look at that little hand in the meltdown photo? And the line across the bridge of his nose? He’s perfect! But I don’t share those pictures as readily. I show the glossy ones. The ones that you send out in Christmas cards and birth announcements. But why do we live such Photoshopped lives? Why don’t we share the real pictures? Are we afraid of the truth? Are we afraid that people will judge, that they won’t be impressed? I applaud VOGUE UK and BRIDES Magazine for letting these women shine in all their untouched glory. Maybe, just maybe, I’ll start sharing some of the “real” photos from now on.

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The Day My Son Won the Snowstorm

About a month ago I posted a picture to Facebook of my attempt to prepare my son for the wintry world. He was only a few weeks old and I was so worried about the cold weather that I may have overestimated the number of layers needed to keep his tiny body warm. After looking at the picture, I realized that I had turned into the mother in A Christmas Story who bundles her son up so tightly that he resembles a marshmallow. The minute I put it up on Facebook dozens of friends either liked or commented on the silliness of the photo as well as their same predicament in overprotective parenting. Although, how overprotective can you be when your baby has only been in the world for a matter of weeks? I stand behind my protectiveness and I would do it again in a heartbeat. The funny side of the story is that an editor at Redbook Magazine had seen the photo in my feed and contacted me about running the picture on their website with the caption, “Adorably Bundled-Up Baby Wins the Snowstorm.” Of course they could!

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How could you not photograph and share this image? But here’s the thing about new motherhood, especially in the digital age. The minute I hit “post” on this picture, I worried. Of course, it is in my nature to worry about pretty much everything, now add in a newborn baby and I’m a bit of a mess. But I worried about the comments, the critiques, the negative statements. They can range anywhere from, “I never post photos of my kids online,” to “Why would you put your child in that position, in those clothes, with that pacifier?” etc. It can be anything. Critics are everywhere. Normally, I can handle anything and let it gracefully roll off my back, but when you are a new mother (or a mother in general), your emotions change. You become fiercely protective and also abundantly vulnerable.

There is a famous quote by Elizabeth Stone that having child is to “decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body” and nothing could be more accurate. I’m quite literally obsessed with my son and it is both beautiful and terrifying. It’s a love I have never known before and one that I absolutely cherish. But I also want to share his life (and what I am profoundly learning from his life) with others. I want to be the voice I was looking for when I found out I was pregnant, when I found out I was having a boy (panic!), when I delivered my son (36 hours of crippling contractions) and when I started thinking about when I was ready for more babies (about one minute after looking at his face – it’s true what they say about Mommy Amnesia). I’m a writer. The best way for me to understand my life, my world, my thoughts and my feelings is to write it out. Never before have my words felt so important and so heavily weighted in my heart. My son changed my life, he made me braver, he made me a mother and maybe, quite possibly, he’s made me a writer. So I’m going to start sharing my thoughts, feelings, lessons learned here in this online space. Yes I’m opening myself up to criticism and comments. But I’m also putting myself and my thoughts out there and maybe helping another young, confused, scared, lost mother at the same time. I’m documenting my life and my son’s life. I’m writing it out and therefore trusting my thoughts and words to express such a significant and sacred part of my life. To me, that seems much more important in the long run than any criticism I could ever receive. Yes, my heart is walking around outside of my body but hopefully he’ll be doing it in something ridiculously adorable.

photo-6Because I am keeping in mind the fact that I always want details from other mothers (specific details), I got this Teddy Bear Snowsuit at OldNavy. Their prices are fantastic for baby clothes. The speed with which children grow out of their clothing is unbelievably fast and not very conducive to spending a lot. For example, Grayson wore this pale blue Teddy Bear Snowsuit approximately two times. But at least I documented it so it can live on forever. That’s $15 well spent in my estimation.