Today I watched the Boston Marathon. I had it on in the background while I went about my daily routine (emails, writing, phone calls). I must admit that when the elite runners were rounding the corner and hitting Boylston Street (the last few blocks of the race), I put everything on pause and sat, transfixed. We were very close to having an American woman (Desiree Davila) win the race but unfortunately, in the last 200 yards or so, she was passed by Caroline Kilel from Ethiopia. The last time an American woman won the Boston Marathon was in 1985, so I was really hoping for some history making today. Unfortunately, it was not to be. And our beloved Kara Goucher finished 5th. Kara, who gave birth to a baby boy 6 months ago (!!) ran a personal best and has vowed that she will continue running the Boston Marathon until she wins. I love her gumption.

The men’s race was equally as exciting because a world record was smashed by Kenya’s Geoffrey Mutai who ran the fastest 26.2 miles in history (unfortunately the downhill portion of the race makes it ineligible for an official world record).

I, of course, had to hit the treadmill after work and have my own imaginary marathon run. While running, I couldn’t help but think about the passion and determination on the faces of all the runners I watched today. It’s very hard to worry about your relationships, your boss, your financial situation, your hair when doing something as solitary and physically exhausting as pushing your body forward in a perpetual motion. With each foot fall you can leave your worries, your stresses and your frustration behind you. You can’t stress about any extra pounds on your body because you are consciously working towards making them history. You can’t worry about work because you are in no way capable of doing anything but putting one foot in front of the other. There is also something that happens when working out, your thoughts tend to lean towards the positive, the hopeful, the optimistic. You’re moving forward and so are your thoughts.

So yes, baby we were born to run…(or walk, swim, bike). Find something that lifts your heart rate and your spirits and keep doing it. Every day.

I am literally in a funk. I don’t know if it’s the weather (I have seen maybe one or two glimpses of the sun), the time of year, the anticipation of spring and summer or the general need for a vacation. All I know is I am in a funk. I don’t feel like going out on the weekends and I generally just want to stay home and watch reality tv. (However, recent studies have shown that some alone time is actually healthy and can lead to creativity and happiness. I will definitely be weighing in on this in further detail in a later post.)

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not depressed. I am actually quite a happy person, by nature. I can find joy in the smallest things (a good dinner, a captivating book, some snarky celebrity magazines) but lately I just can’t seem to shake this general sense of “eh.” That’s the best way I can put it.

So because I’m in this funk, I start looking back and thinking “when was the last time I was really happy?” When was the last time I was super excited to get out of bed in the morning? It’s kind of like when you lose something and you have to retrace your steps to see if you can find where you dropped it.

I was happiest when I was writing freelance for magazines. I wrote about sending love notes and getting rain insurance for your wedding. I wrote about curiosity and health. I wrote book reviews and a story about building pools (yes, some stories were more random than others). I loved writing these stories. I loved researching and crafting the perfect words, pitching them and waiting to hear back from editors. To put it simply, I love writing.

My job is PR. That’s what I do for a living. I enjoy it, I really do. I love working with authors, crafting press releases and pitching ideas to the media. But sometimes you want to stretch your creative muscle. You want to do something for work AND for fun. You want to do something that both inspires and intrigues, something for yourself.

I may not have the time to write and pitch magazine articles, but I do have a platform to express these thoughts and explore the new things I learn along the way. I think that by writing these blog posts about the interesting things I discover, I will be creating both balance and pride in my life, in my work and in my heart.

Truly, it’s all about curiosity. Studies have shown that curious people are happier people.

So my journey towards relocating my happiness is going to start here. With you. With my research, my thoughts and my words.

Today was a perfect day. Do you ever have those days that are just fully enjoyable from beginning to end? That was today. But technically, that’s not true. I started off the day in a state of turmoil. I didn’t know what I wanted to do, how I wanted to spend my precious free time. I have so little of it these days and it sometimes seems that I am paralyzed with indecision. But I made a decision. I chose to spend time with someone special, doing things that weren’t productive. I wasn’t organizing or cleaning or getting a jump start on work. Instead, I went out for a breakfast buffet that was beyond delicious (even if I did dump half of my hash browns…covered in ketchup…into my lap…twice). Then we went for a walk and found a bench facing the water. We sat and talked. About nothing and everything. The sun was warm, the air had a little early spring chill in it but the day was bright and perfect. Even better, I was dressed appropriately, a sweater AND a jacket…I tend to under dress at the first sign of spring and 9 out of 10 times I’m always cold…needless to say, I jump the gun for warm weather. So there we were, enjoying  a lazy Sunday, full from a delicious brunch and casually walking the streets of this quaint, quiet, historical town.

To say that I am excited about a recent purchase is an understatement. I’m not just excited about my new iMac, I’m overwhelmed, terrified, exhilarated and optimistic. I have been a PC person for my entire adult life so this is the equivalent of suddenly driving on the opposite side of the road. What I can tell you is that what I have seen so far is beyond my greatest expectations. I am going to completely sound like an “I’m a MAC” commercial, but seriously, this is one awesome computer. I love the clicking and dragging aspect of it. I love the overall simplicity of the entire operating system. Yes, it is going to take me a long time to get over the fact that THERE IS NO RIGHT CLICK but other than that, I’m in love.

I also have to say something about the support they have over at Apple. It’s unlike any other electronic purchase I have ever made. This morning I had a two hour MEET YOUR MAC class and a lesson in the One-to-One program they offer. This is a program that allows you to set up meeting times with someone at the Apple store whenever you want and they will walk you through whatever difficulties you are having. In a word: AMAZING!

{Just FYI, I am in no way affiliated with Apple nor am I receiving any compensation…I’m just a girl who’s excited about a new toy!}

I really believe there is a therapeutic quality to blogging (or maybe just writing in general). Writing has the power to act as a reset button. No matter how unhappy or frustrated you are about something, just the act of writing it down helps to clarify things. It can even make problems that seemed larger than life suddenly seem a lot more palatable. I believe this is why many of the blogs I read always sound so upbeat and optimistic. Once you write it out, it no longer carries the weight it once did and you are able to look at things more objectively and come to more helpful conclusion.

Today was a busy day. Busier than I had originally hoped (or anticipated) it would be. I went to my friend’s bridal shower, went to the gym (where they were shooting a commercial!) and then hit up Target and the grocery store. I left the house around 10am and didn’t return until close to 8pm. I’m completely exhausted and even though I would have liked to have spent the Sunday lazily reading the paper and surfing my favorite blogs, I am happy with all that I accomplished and enjoy the feeling of living a FULL life. Seeing friends, meeting new people, being healthy, shopping…really, what else could I ask for in life?

Today I cried.

I cried for the silliest of reasons. I cried because I couldn’t get my dog to stop barking. I fed her. I let her out, let her in, gave her water, treats, everything. But I just could not get her to stop barking. People with dogs know that this happens sometimes. I know that this happens sometimes. But for some reason, today, this morning, I couldn’t handle it. I couldn’t handle the fact that I was doing everything right, I was trying my hardest and still nothing. No change. Same loud, piercing barks. It was early. The sun was just up and I was worried her barks would wake people. I was frustrated and rapidly coming unglued. I posted yesterday about dogs barking and how it is just a part of the messy fabric of life. I posted about finding your peace within, even if the world around you seems to be conspiring to tear you apart. But the barking was tearing me apart. It was illogical and unstoppable. It couldn’t be fixed with reason or effort. What was I doing wrong?

How often do we ask ourselves this? What am I doing wrong? Why do we so often blame ourselves for things that are completely beyond our control? I have about as much control over a dog barking as I do over the sun rising in the morning, and yet I stress and worry and contemplate my failures. Yes, this isn’t just about dogs barking. It’s about the larger things in life. Why do we always find fault within ourselves? Things aren’t going right at work or in your relationship and you instantly blame yourself.  It’s our gut reaction. We must be doing something wrong. This inevitably is followed by “How can I fix this?”

My dog was barking and I continually tried to change the scenario. I offered up every alternative to keep her from barking. And do you want to know when she stopped barking? When I walked away. When I left her alone. When I stopped trying to fix and change and make things better. When I just let it be. I let the situation unfold around me and it fixed itself.

It’s amazing the life lesson you can learn from a barking dog.

Throughout our childhood we hear the old adage that our differences are what makes us unique, special, interesting. We are proud of what makes us stand out, what makes us different from our classmates and our friends. We feel a sense of triumph for seeing things a different way, doing things differently, being uniquely our own self. Then we begin our dating life and we search for someone who is just like us, our “other half.” We want someone to, get ready for it, complete us. (Jerry Maguire!) When we find this person, the person, the one we want to spend forever with, our hearts soar in all the ways we are similar. It is no longer about loving the differences in people, we want this person we have chosen to be just like us. We want sameness, we want similarities, we want cohesive structure and equal views on everything, to the point where we begin to tear apart another person’s uniqueness because we don’t like how different it is from ourselves. We want our partner to see things exactly the way we see them. We want everything to the look the same, but through different eyes. You can see where this could be difficult, where we could be putting unwanted pressures on a relationship, creating conflict, dreaming up drama.

Check out me (and my family) in the February issue of Self Magazine. I will be posting much more on the article and the subject matter (which is near and dear to my heart) but will say this, it is about how your mother’s relationship with her body impacts your relationship.

Thoughts?

After spending a good portion of the snow day yesterday trying to help my niece build a snow man, I now have a solution should we get walloped with another blizzard…THE MINI SNOWMAN! I found these on Martha Stewart’s THE CRAFTS DEPARTMENT blog.