I want to go to Paris!

{photo courtesy of Fifi Mandirac}

My day job is that I work as a book publicist. “Day Job” that can be misleading because it is actually an all day, all night, haunt you 24 hours a day, 7 days a week kind of job. I love what I do because I love working with authors, coming up with original, unique and authentic ways of marketing my favorite of all commodities…BOOKS! However, there are days when I don’t 100% love my job. Those are usually the days when nothing seems to be going right. No one is biting. There is bigger news going on in the world and editors and producers don’t seem to care a flying fig about a book…especially if that book happens to be fiction.

Fiction tends to have the wonderful ability to land like a lead balloon on the doorsteps of most editors and producers. They really don’t know what to do with it. And that’s where my incredible originality and overall ingenius ability to turn fiction into the most newsworthy of subjects comes in handy. I am not just trying to flatter myself, I  really am that good.

Who else can turn a book about a stay-at-home dad into a political platform? (Ad Hudler’s MAN OF THE HOUSE) or turn the promotion of a romance novel into a gender issue (Susan Mallery’s SUNSET BAY)? I brought a medical thriller writer into the Hollywood spotlight (Michael Palmer’s THE SECOND OPINION) and turned a columnist into a public promoter (Lisa Genova’s STILL ALICE).

This is why I love my job. I love finding the clever hook that is going to turn a book into a hot topic. I love making people become aware of an author or novel they may have overlooked. I love creating that one spark that can launch a career. (Lori Culwell and Brunonia Barry)

Two weeks ago my aunt Fran passed away. It was one of the most horrific days of my entire life. She had been battling Soft Tissue Sarcoma for two years and even though we were aware that it was incurable, we had hope. Because what else is there in life if you don’t have hope? My aunt Fran was braver than any human being I have ever known, but I only really saw her bravery when this disease came into our lives. She battled sarcoma with everything she had and she did not lose faith for one minute. She stayed positive and upbeat and didn’t let the disease take over.

The hardest part about her battle was what it did to her physically. She lost her hair, her ability to walk and her independence. But she continued living on the sunny side of life. She refused to dwell in the darkness of “Why Me?” She wasn’t a victim. Fran remained excited about the little things and allowed them to bring her happiness; a nice dinner, visits with family and friends, a good TV show. That’s how she lived her life before the illness and that’s how she was determined to live her life after the diagnosis.

I read an article in the Boston Globe about terminal patients refusal to understand the reality of their own mortality. The article clearly explains that this is something that needs to be addressed by health care professionals. I completely understand the direction of this article, but having seen it from the other side, I think my aunt’s determination to not accept her negative prognosis is what allowed her to live, truly live, those last months and days of her life.

Now I’m not saying that we don’t need a stronger, more emotionally balanced approach to helping people deal with end-of-life plans. Death is an uncomfortable discussion that people need to have. We need to know the wishes of our loved ones. But we also need to have professionals who can help them deal with the emotional impact their disease is having on their life.

We created a memorial site in her name to record any memories that friends or family wanted to express. Here is what I posted:

My aunt Fran is so much more than the few words I can use to fill up this simple square of a guest book. She was silly and caring and fun. She loved the little things and her enthusiasm was infectious. She was fearless and brave and bossy. She loved her friends and her family and made everyone feel special. She was happy and curious and real. She was so much to so many people. She was my aunt and my friend and my life will never ever be the same without her. I miss her so much that even typing these words makes my heart ache. I can’t imagine life without her, but I am thankful for the time we had together. I love you Fran!

Love Jocelyn

As the week following Fran’s death passed by in a blur of tears and phone calls from worried friends and family, I found myself constantly looking back, remembering happy times when everyone I loved was healthy and together. I found it completely appropriate that Memorial Day arrived just as I was coming out of my haze of mourning. I spent Memorial Day weekend packing up my aunt’s belongings, flipping through old pictures and trying to grasp the finality of death. I don’t understand it. I never will. But I know I will grow stronger every day because that is what we do, as human beings. We break and we get stronger in the broken parts. I will never be the same girl that I saw in those innocent pictures from the past. But I am so much more now. I have experienced tremendous sorrow and I have survived. I am brave and I am strong. Because of Fran I will live in the sunny side of life, as she taught me to do, during the darkest hours of her own short life.

Oprah’s producer just announced on her blog that she will be reading Middlemarch by George Eliot this summer. Check it out here. I am jumping on the bandwagon! Come along for the ride!!

{photo courtesy of the brilliant m.writes}

When I was younger, I was an athlete. I swam competitively. I played soccer and tennis and field hockey. I was constantly moving and when summer came, I lived outside. I didn’t realize how much I would miss those daily bursts of energy along with the schedule and competition. I think these are all things we need. We need to strive towards goals, constantly challenge ourselves and feel proud of our accomplishments. Now that I have hit the big 3-0, I am trying to focus more on getting my life into a healthy balance, something that can sustain me and inspire me and bring about a natural sense of fulfillment and happiness. Having recently been dealt a heavy blow with the passing of my aunt, I am looking for something to help bring me some personal solace and a healthy focus. Recently, while mindlessly clicking around on the internet, I stumbled upon the most entertaining (and inspiring) blog. I found a kindred spirit in Ms. Wiggs and was so completely motivated by her dedication to her own life overhaul. She’s kicking butt and I was totally inspired!

So this morning, after a little corn muffin (which was homemade…thank you very much), I laced up the old sneaks and hit the ground running…literally.

And if I needed a sign to let me know I was on the right path, I found it…this little burst of color on my front stoop…along with a rock that my sister is convinced was bitten by a shark.

So after a little stretching, not too much because I keep reading that it’s better to stretch after a run, I was on my way. I have been running on a treadmill sporadically throughout the winter, but boy is it a whole different ballgame when you hit the outdoors. It just feels like a better workout, and a tougher one too!

And I have to admit that when I got home, the sadness and frustration I have been feeling lately seemed farther away. Life is about choices and I choose to invest in me and my life. I think I’ve made a pretty smart decision.

I am delighted to report that these beautiful tubes of color are M&M’s. Yes. Over six feet tall, filled to the brim with delicious, candy-coated chocolate of the M&M variety. This was the highlight (for my six-year old niece) of our trip to New York City. What was not the highlight was when I took her into a restaurant bathroom only to be greeted by a cockroach.

My niece has a paralyzing fear of bugs. Ants, teeny, tiny ants, make her scream bloody murder. So you can only imagine how she reacted to this GIANT bug scurrying up the wall of a well-lit, crowded bathroom. As she ran from the stall trembling in shock, a woman who was washing her hands looked at me through the reflection of the mirror and said, “That’s New York for you.”

We left that restaurant immediately, luckily we had yet to order, and landed in Tony’s, a fantastic Italian restaurant a block from Times Square. How can you go wrong with family-style dining and larger-than-life menus posted on the wall? We filled our bellies with homemade fettucine alfredo, baked ziti and chicken marsala. The unmentionable from the previous restaurant was nothing but a bad dream.

We ended the night with a trip to the M&M store in Times Square. Piper found out that if she were an M&M she would be a “Mixed Bag.” And what is better than finding out you have the rainbow inside of you? She was thrilled and the cockroach was officially forgotten…hopefully.

And this is what greeted me in the morning.

I’m already looking forward to Spring! Today was a tiny hint of what’s to come. This is a shot from the March 2009 issue of Country Living.

Love, love, love!

I got this cute idea from Martha Stewart. Here are the instructions:

These little hand-stitched felt bears have an important duty: safely guarding teeth awaiting pickup by the Tooth Fairy. As Martha Stewart Living television stylist Cindy Treen demonstrates, you’ll need to know several basic embroidery stitches for this project: the backstitch, satin stitch, French knot, and whipstitch.

Tools and Materials
Tooth Bear template
Scissors
Felt
Straight pins
Embroidery thread
Needle
Polyester fiberfill
Chopstick or bone folder

Bear How-To
1. Print and cut out template. Pin to felt, and cut out one bear half; repin to a new piece of felt, and cut out second half.

2. Make the bear’s face: Embroider two French knots for the eyes, then make a nose with a satin stitch. Extend the nose one stitch down on each side to create the mouth.

3. Cut the pocket shape from the bear template, pin to a piece of felt, and cut out. Embroider a name and tooth image on the pocket, using a simple double-thread backstitch (this will make the details stand out). Attach the pocket to the bear’s front, using a single-thread whipstitch.

4. Starting at the top of one ear, stitch the front and back pieces of your bear together with a whipstitch; stop at the top of the other ear to create a space at the top of the head for stuffing.

5. Stuff the bear with polyester fiberfill, packing the stuffing tightly so that the body is firm. Use a chopstick or bone folder to push stuffing into the legs and arms.

6. Whipstitch the top of the bear’s head closed.

7. Embroider claws onto the ends of each arm and leg with a 1/4-inch whipstitch.

Cindy Treen used polyester fiberfill from JoAnn Fabrics and wool felt from Magic Cabin Dolls.

Tiny problem…I don’t know the whipstitch, or any stitch for that matter.

When it feels like your world is falling apart around you, the hardest thing to do is continue going about your daily tasks and focusing on work and responsibilities. However, with the economy crashing around us and people losing their jobs left and right, it is imperative that you remain professional and balanced at work. No emotional breakdowns allowed. So how is someone supposed to deal with emotional trauma and remain professionally “together?”

Christine Hassler tackles this question over at The Huffington Post. She also mentions something fascinating. A Japanese firm gives employees “heartache” leave when going through a break-up or divorce. Hassler advises readers to take a personal day, but take it seriously.

Don’t slack off on your personal day – it’s not a vacation! Use it to attend to your personal issues, not just as a day to catch up on errands and TiVo. Make an appointment with your counselor or life coach if you have one, spend time with a friend or mentor and do things that support you in dealing with your emotions so you can be more focused at work. Make the day one of closure with your ex.

Life is indeed a balance of dealing with the normal day in and day out “to-do’s” with the curveballs that get thrown our way. As tempting as it is to dodge the curveballs, it’s more empowering to deal with them head-on in a healthy way. But it is also our responsibility to attend to our personal matters outside of the office so that when we are on the clock, we can be focused and productive.

For what it’s worth: it’s never too late to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you’re proud of. If you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again.

– The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

Like Carrie Bradshaw said in Sex and the City, men don’t write love letters anymore. Big immediately replies with something along the lines of, “I don’t have to write to you, you’re right here. Plus, they had to write letters like that because they were separated by wars.” I don’t know if that’s exactly what he said, but it was something along those lines.

Why don’t men make sweeping gestures like love letters anymore? Is it because we now toss off a note in an email without a second thought? Are we too easily accessible? Why don’t men woo the women they love with more heartfelt approaches? Don’t they understand that it really is all about the little things? I’m tempted to buy this book but I’m afraid it will make me realize how far we have come…and not in a good way.